Persian ‘gulp’….

The World Cup is well under way now. Some talking points were to be expected; VAR of course, hydration breaks and the occasional upset or plucky effort.

In the Uk we are so used to vilifying VAR, we rarely actually feel any sympathy for the people in the bunker of doom. So it was with some surprise that last night, in the France vs Senegal game, the Iranian referee (who I’m normally impressed with when I’ve seen him in the A League in Australia) bucked the trend of ‘he’s gone to the VAR screen, this will be overturned’. Not this chap. Proper custard pied the VAR. The tackle by Mane on Mbappe was a foul. It was as simple as that. The amateur referee in me gave initial dispensation to the Persian whistler that he may have thought he’d seen Mane get a slight touch on the ball, but replays showed this was not the case. Stone wall penalty and an absolutely nailed on foul. VAR correct to call him over. A clear and obvious error, exactly what VAR was brought in for. At last some justification for years of depriving officials of their vitamin D being holed up in a caravan with a load of screens and frustrating and annoying fans the world over. Arguably the highest profile correct intervention in the history of VAR.

Ah. Perhaps not.

By the way, this is where I have a gripe. A penalty comes as a result of a foul that just happens to occur in the penalty area. No more no less. The pundits who claim ‘it’s a slight foul but not enough for a penalty’ miss the point. The foul being committed in the penalty area gives that element of jeopardy- therefore be extra cautious. That’s the whole point. There isn’t a sliding scale of fouls that ultimately result in one being bad enough for a penalty.

None of that in this case. And sliding is exactly what Mane was doing, upending Mbappe in full flight. Even Alan Shearer seemed to remember he was co-commentating at one point and broke into a moment of analysis and opinion (I shouldn’t have worried as he soon reverted to Dad jokes and irrelevant nonsense). The only explanation I can offer for what followed is that of course VAR can intervene if a corner is awarded that shouldn’t be (can’t give one if a goal kick is given though) and the referee used some sort of Jedi mind trick to convince VAR there was a touch. Perhaps the moment was too big for him and he was out of his depth. I actually have sympathy with referees (where there is no VAR) when they miss things. We all do it. And when you’re refereeing it happens. I’ve done it. But I cannot stand referees who THINK they’ve seen something they haven’t because that for me brings in an element of guesswork. If you’ve not seen it say so. If your assistants have also missed it then you’re all to blame. Unless it’s pub football when ‘Kev’ or whoever (most likely the sub or the managers least favourite player) has been told he’s running the line by the manager is distracted by a dog chasing him or eating a sausage sandwich. I’ve seen both. And that same manager has also told him not to flag for anything for the opposition.

The penalty award with dodgy lines (conveniently delayed replays) in the Germany game that perplexed Lee Dixon (not a big event in itself but reasonable on this occasion) was hitherto the most contentious VAR moment but ultimately didn’t affect the result. You could argue the Mbappe one didn’t either, but standby folks there’s a biggie coming at some point…… Probably involving England to add to the list of excuses for why it isn’t coming home.

Perhaps the officials should keep a lower profile. In the old days, Brian Moore (for example) would announce pre kick off that it’s ‘Mr Smith from Croydon who’s a sales rep’ in the middle and that’s it. Now, the ‘team’ in the stadium feature and then the VAR crew have to pose for their moment- a bit like when the cameras at Eurovision get a shot of the expectant Lithuanian band awaiting their score. I half expect the VAR team to wave furiously and make heart shapes with their fingers.

And standby is exactly what we have to do twice a game as ‘hydration breaks’ have been introduced. The fact that this was always a Trojan horse by the Americans and FIFA to bring in advertising revenue only now seems to have dawned on Uk broadcasters and viewers alike. Ian Wright seemed as if he’d made a huge scientific discovery or found Lord Lucan such was the way he announced that this was the purpose for them. Viewers took to social media to lambast the US and Infantino (President of FIFA). I can’t see them catching on here, albeit maybe/ probably at further summer tournaments. A Tuesday night in Stoke in February is hardly likely to be drawn out further when it’s minus 3 and most of the crowd are in danger of getting hyperthermia. I would just say that I welcome the opportunity for a comfort break at my age and would actually advocate a hydration break during some of the drawn out national anthems. The commentators noting it’s 36 degrees in the shade and there’s about 200 people (including all the players from both squads) on the pitch, having to sway along to Curaçao’s musical tribute.

I think Curaçao certainly go down as plucky as of course do Cape Verde. Neil Warnock is much maligned (I’ve never met him but kinda like him) but his opinion on possession in football is spot on. It’s worth nothing if you can’t score. Spain absolutely dominated against the resolute and plucky Verdeans. They had over 70% possession. It looked like a defence vs attack training session. But Spain were the epitome of the tippy tappy frustratingly boring football that Pep has infected our country with. I’ll do a blog on that alone when we’re into the new season, when we can reflect on some League 2 nonsense as teams try to play out from the back etc. Dull. Predictable. Passive when it doesn’t work and a poor watch.

I’m enjoying the BBC Radio 5 Live radio coverage as I drive about in the car. They proudly announced they have live commentary of 92 of the 104 games, no little feat of course but it feels a bit like saying ‘I’ve cleaned the house, but I haven’t done the kitchen, bathroom or lounge’. Slightly underwhelming but at the same time I’m grateful. Part of the joy is to listen out for the occasional blooper. Easily done of course, Curtis Davies during the Australia/ Turkey game telling us the ‘referee is refereeing the game’ which was reassuring. The usual keyboard bigots are gunning for anyone who isn’t British or male who has the audacity to be on our screens or radios to talk about the matches. Why the hate? There is an off button. And those that are doing it in a foreign language even more so. Olivier Giroud and Emma Hayes the latest to ignite the ire of the racists and misogynists.

I do take issue with the admiration for the aforementioned Infantino being present at so many games. It literally couldn’t be easier for him. Private jet from location to location, chauffeur driven to the stadiums, staying in the swankiest hotels and occupying the best seats in the stadium- he’s hardly had to go on Ticketmaster or similar and juggle with Skyscanner and Airbnb let alone fork out for it. It’s not quite Roy Keane ‘it’s his job’ territory but it’s not far off.

It would be unfair not to salute the efforts of the ultimate plucky underdog, who have given hope to their loyal fans who have to suffer stormy weather, errant government, poverty and hardship over the years. Against the odds they battled and did their nation proud.  No not Haiti. But Scotland. They may regret only beating Haiti by one goal, though I believe the 3 points should get them into the round of 32….